The actor's stream of consciousness...

We're all familiar with how Romeo and Juliet ends, but have you ever wondered what was going through the heads of the actors onstage during one of the most famous scenes ever written?  You might be surprised! Here’s what I was thinking the other night, as we rehearsed this well-known scene:

“Ok, I’m dead. I’m going to try not to breathe too heavy. Little breaths, shallow little breaths, oh God, I feel like I CAN’T BREATHE! How am I going to lay here for this whole scene and not take a deep breath?! Ok, settle down. You’re making it worse. Here comes Paris. Just focus on the story, don’t worry about your breathing. What’s he doing? I wish I could open my eyes and see where he is. Oh, now I hear Romeo. Crap. They’re going to start sword fighting. I HATE this part. Don’t flinch. They’ve rehearsed this a lot. They won’t hit you with the swords. AH! I’m pretty sure they were like 2 inches from my face! Ok, just ignore them. Think about your next line. What is your next line? I can’t remember it. Oh no. What is it? ‘What’s here? Poison I see will be his timeless end.’ That’s it. Ok. Romeo killed Paris. He’s coming over here right now. Now he’s standing next to me. Did he just spit on me while he was talking? YEP. He totally did. I guess I just have to leave that there. Here comes the part where he picks me up. Limp, lifeless, don’t move. Ragdoll. Here comes the kiss, but don’t kiss him back, remember you’re dead. Do you remember your line? ‘What’s here? Poison I see will be his timeless end.’ Yep, still got it. Ok, time to wake up. Not too fast…you’ve been fake-dead for a while. ‘What’s here? Poison I see will be his timeless end!’ NAILED IT! Back to the story. You loved him. He’s dead! DEAD! Oh, awesome, I feel tears coming. Don’t think about it. Just let them come. If you force it, they’ll go away. Dead. He’s dead. Dead. Ok, now you kiss him. I hope my breath is ok and I’m not too spitty from crying. Time to stab yourself. Be careful, don’t hurt yourself. Contemplate? Then….STAB! Cough! Fall. Back to shallow breathing. My ear is right on his stomach. Ha! I can hear his stomach digesting. I wonder what he had for dinner. Do dead people still digest their food? That’s stupid, Emily. Uh oh, my right arm is slipping. Hold yourself up! You can’t move! Thank God, he’s holding me up with his other arm. Remember to thank Chris for holding me up while I was slipping off the tomb. Oh my word, my right butt muscle is cramping up from holding this position. That’s going to be sore tomorrow. Ugh, I should do more pure barre classes. Lord, this scene is SO LONG! Ok, now we’re at the end. Yay! We did it! I wonder if anyone’s going out for a drink after rehearsal...”

A rose by any other word...wait...what's my line?

I have been involved in theatre for 15 years, and in those years, I’ve done lots of challenging things onstage including: changing costumes 32 times in one show, riding a motorized platform from the balcony to the stage, kissing my best friend’s husband while she watched from the wings, and even playing a virgin while 4 months pregnant (that one wasn’t as challenging for me as it was for the costumer). The one thing that has never been a challenge for me is memorizing lines…until now.

People frequently ask me “how I do it.” Typically, the answer is easy because I don’t actively “do” anything. Most plays are rehearsed repetitively enough that with some time spent running through lines at home, your next line pops into your head just like the next line of your favorite song. If I said “Oh say, can you see…” you’d say “…by the dawn’s early light,” right? The same thing goes for choreography. I’m not a dancer, but I’m not immune to the reality of muscle memory either. Now, seven years later, I can still do most of the dance steps to Beauty and the Beast’s “Be Our Guest.”

Then I was cast as Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Hoooo, buddy! The moment I finished highlighting my lines, I had the weirdest feeling. It was a mixture of panic and exhilaration and joy and claustrophobia. It reminded me of the feeling you get when you find out you’re pregnant, or when the roller coaster starts going up the lift-hill with you strapped into the front seat.

How in the world was I going to memorize these lines?! It’s not like if you mess up on stage you can just improvise your way out of it; you either say it the right way, or you fall flat on your face! I did what any self-respecting person would do in this situation. I Googled “how to memorize Shakespeare.”

Google told me that the whole “Iambic Pentameter” thing can actually be quite helpful, but only if you listen to your lines. After all, Shakespeare didn’t intend for his plays to be read, he intended for them to be heard! So I diligently recorded all my scenes onto my iPad and have listened to them many times since.

The trickiest part? It’s the little words. Since Shakespeare invented anywhere from 1,500 to 10,000 words (depending on your source) it came as no surprise that he really doesn’t concern himself with grammar. “In this line is it ‘who’ or ‘that?’” Don’t count on grammar to point you in the right direction.

Shakespeare also likes to take a few words in every sentence and just flip flop them to make them interesting. Take “Give me, give me! O, tell not me of fear!” If you’re like me, your brain will automatically change this line to “Give me, give me! O, tell me not of fear!” And your brain will likely try to change it EVERY time you attempt to say it out loud.

Many times I’ve been running through my lines with my mom, or my husband, or my brother, or my scene partner and end up cursing, hitting something or someone (sorry, Romeo!), or just growling in frustrating agony because I can’t remember if it’s “thee” or “thou” in this particular line.

Now it’s time to put the script down, add in the set, costumes, lighting, and oh yeah, do some acting. Wish me well!

Wow! It's been a while!

Ok, it's been 2 and a half years since I've blogged! Wow! Time sure flies when you're having fun!

The Center for the Arts has asked me to write a few blogs during the process of Romeo and Juliet, so I'll be posting throughout the month of February. Maybe that will give me the kick in the pants I need to start blogging again!

Please enjoy the upcoming posts!

And the adventure continues...

As we approach Mother’s Day, I’d like to share some of the interesting observations I’ve made over my last three years of motherhood. I knew my life would change when I had a child. I didn’t know how MUCH it would change. The world looks totally different through a mother’s eyes!

I look forward to the many lessons my son has yet to teach me, and I look at my own mother, grandmothers, mother-in-law, aunts, and friends with such admiration. I feel like I’ve joined a special club!

- Being a mommy makes you overcome your fears of spiders and begin to eat foods that you’ve always hated in order to show your kids that they shouldn’t be afraid to try something new.

- 24-hour pharmacies are the greatest invention – EVER.

- Motherhood is probably the leading cause of anxiety disorders.

- Everyone should carry diaper wipes with them at all times. They’re so convenient!

- A high speed digital SLR camera is worth every penny.

- The genius at Crayola who decided to put cleaning tips for every product of theirs on the website deserves a huge pay raise.

- Going to the grocery store with your child can be a fun teaching opportunity; going to the grocery store without your child can be a fun vacation.

- Playing with play-doh is incredibly therapeutic.

- When it’s cold enough outside to see your breath, it’s cool to pretend you’re a dragon.

- No matter how gross it is, there is some satisfaction that comes with picking your child’s nose.

- Having a Mary Poppins Dance Party in the living room is a great workout!

- A few funny faces can cure a bad attitude no matter how old you are.

- Nothing in the entire world is better than hearing your child say, “Mommy, I love you.”

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

"OMG, you guys, it's Thomas!"

This past weekend we took our son on a pilgrimage to Greenfield Village. Don't be too impressed with my son's excitement for turn of the 20th century American history...we were there for one reason, and one reason only. T-H-O-M-A-S!!

I have to admit, I love me some Thomas the Tank Engine. I think it's by far the most sophisticated children's program and it has fantabulous morals. When I use the TV to babysit my son (come on, everyone does it, don't pretend) I know I can pop on a Thomas DVD and have no worries. It sure beats the pants off having to explain why Max and Ruby don't have any parents.

Anyway, major kudos goes to whoever thought up the idea of creating a real-life Thomas engine and touring him around to all of the heritage railways around the country. "Day Out With Thomas" is well worth the money for any choo choo-holic.

Even though we had chilly and damp weather, no one could have rained on Liam's parade as we walked into Greenfield Village to see THE REAL THOMAS pass by on the tracks. We stopped by the carousel where they let Liam ring the bell, we got our picture taken in front of the hat shop, we saw the glass blowers, listened to a banjo, and then we got in line to board the train. The train ride itself was a tolerable 20 minutes long, blaring familiar Thomas songs as it went all the way around the village.

Nothing is as thrilling as a parent to see your child full of excitement. I heard one little boy exclaim, "Mommy! This is the best day of my life!" I remember saying the same thing to my parents as we stood outside the gates of the Magic Kingdom when I was three. Music to Mommy and Daddy's ears.




















As a side note, the people of Greenfield Village were exceedingly courteous and accommodating. The grounds were immaculate and beautiful, the food, carousel rides, and Model T passes were inexpensive, and there was enough there to have kept Liam interested even without you-know-who. We plan to head back this summer during our staycation (more on that in a later blog) when we have nicer weather.

Liam is 3!!!

My baby boy is growing up before my eyes! In celebration of Liam's 3rd birthday, here is a brief recap of The Life and Times of Liam Anderson.

Favorite Toy: Play Doh!

Favorite pastime: Digging for worms

Favorite Movie: Finding Nemo (still)

Favorite Character: Thomas the Train

Favorite Phrase: "What you said?"

What you said recently that made us laugh: Daddy told you that he would take you wherever you wanted to go. You said, "I want to go to the Chiropractor."

What you said recently that made us cry: "Mommy, you're beautiful like the clouds are beautiful."

What you've learned recently: How to say the dinner blessing (complete with crossing yourself!)

What you do frequently to get in trouble: Not listening to mommy and daddy

Recent Milestone: Going potty!!

Latest injury: Trip to the ER after eating some medicine that wasn't yours.

We love you, Little Liam!

Reflections of a mom with an only child

My son (whom I love more than anything in the world) was a surprise blessing. Specifically, my husband and I had a “five year” kids plan that was shortened when we got pregnant five weeks after we got married.

Adjusting to the idea of having a child so soon was difficult for me. Yes, we “knew how this sort of thing happens” and we immediately took on the responsibility of our new lifestyle, but there were tearful nights (undoubtedly egged on by raging hormones) where I questioned whether or not I was “ready” to be a mom. I didn’t know if I was ready to lose control of my life and what I wanted to do.

Now that we have our three-year old bundle of energy, I know that I am a good mom. We’re also blessed with an amazing “supporting cast” including grandparents that invite us to dinner and have sleepovers and friends who are insulted when you try to pay them for babysitting.

Finally, it’s fun instead of stressful. My house is (usually) picked up, my closets are not overflowing, we have enough left over money in the checking account to go out to eat every now and then and go on vacation, and I get a solid 8 hours of sleep most nights. My husband, son and I love our lives.

Maybe we’ll only have one child. Why mess with a good thing?

“WHAT!?” Tends to be the general response. (It turns out that people you barely know get incredibly frustrated and angry when they find out that you might only have one child.) “That’s awfully SELFISH!” they say.

Or they’ll say “You want to raise a little BRAT?”

Perhaps my favorite response is “What happens if you die?!” they ask, “Your son will be so LONELY!!!” Yeah, thanks a lot. Nothing makes a mom happier than thinking of what will become of her children if she were to have an untimely death. Perhaps if there were a SIBLING involved. Yes! That’s it! Then my son wouldn’t be sad about me dying. He and his brother/sister could just take over the house and create their own little Lord of the Flies.

When I see the term “only child”, a lot of emotions run through my mind: relief, guilt, happiness, regret, sadness, and the inevitable “more guilt” are only a few. Images pop into my head of a little boy sitting on the swing set all by himself with tears rolling down his cute little cheeks. But I also see a little boy who is able to take piano lessons and go to college without mountains of debt to burden him. I see a little boy who comes home to a mommy who isn’t exhausted, a mommy who doesn’t have to divide her attention, a mommy who isn’t stressed about finances.

There are so many wonderful people who are wonderful parents to more than one child. I just don’t know if we're those people. We haven’t decided yet. Maybe we'll start a new trend: Green parenting?

Happy World Theatre Day!

March 27^th is World Theatre Day and I would like to take this opportunity to write a public love letter to my all time favorite passion!

I don’t think it would be a big surprise to anyone that I was not an athlete in school. I dreaded gym class. I spent recess on the swing set. I played soccer for the obligatory two seasons, and quit when I got hit in the face with the ball. I felt like I wasn’t good at the stuff you were “supposed” to be good at, especially if you wanted to be one of the popular kids.

Then I stumbled (literally, I told you I’m not coordinated) into the world of music and theatre. My entire life changed. I started to become good at something for the first time in my life. No, theatre didn’t make me popular (shocking, I know) but it made me try hard, it made me confident, and it taught me how to treat other people.

Now, fifteen years later, I am still in love. I get giddy when I walk into a theater to see a show, first rehearsals still feel like first dates, and let me tell you there is NOTHING in this whole world like feeling an audience in the palm of your hand. Knowing that all of the hard work has made a difference to your audience. Actors live for those moments.

And the people! Ya know, I've been told that there's no people like show people, and I'd have to agree. I met my husband as well as many of my best friends doing theatre (6 of the 8 people who stood up in our wedding were "show people"). You become so committed to a common goal that you become family. They are the kindest, most open-minded, funniest, and most entertaining people you will ever meet.

If you've never experienced theatre from behind the scenes, put it on your bucket list. Especially, if you live in Midland, where we have one of the greatest community theatre facilities I've ever seen. You will have the time of your life, guaranteed!

My son, the drama queen

I’m not surprised. I’m glad, actually, that my son is turning into a very social little boy. I’m also not surprised that along with his social skills, Liam has a flair for the...dramatic.

He can’t help it with parents who act out scenes from Mary Poppins or play YouTube videos of My Little Ponies singing “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” to try to make him laugh. He’s been onstage three times now…once in the womb (I was playing a virgin...oh the magic of theatre and a good costume designer!) My point? It’s in his blood.

I was surprised, however, with how quickly it all took effect. This morning my son didn’t want to get dressed. Specifically, he didn’t want to put on pants. We explained to him that pants were a necessary part of leaving the house...no dice. We tried everything…distraction, bribery, you name it. It escalated into a full on tantrum…”I WAN’T TO GO TO NANA’S!” he screamed. He was certain that Nana wouldn’t possibly do this to him.

Then...as he was crying (my husband and I were laughing) that little over dramatic child was watching himself cry in the mirror...experimenting with different facial expressions and pitches of crying. Sigh. And so it begins.

Maybe someday, when he’s accepting his Oscar, he will thank his parents for making him wear pants.

We have no idea where he gets it from.

The Land Before Time...

Every night before bed, we sing a song to Liam (or several songs. It's actually my favorite part of the day). When I can't remember the words I usually just make some up. Liam caught on to some of the made up lyrics, and now he won't let me sing it any other way. This is Liam singing the Land Before Time theme song to me including some of the words that I made up one night..."You are the best dinosaur ever" He's a little sleepy and hard to understand, so I'll post the lyrics below.



Don't lose your way with each passing day
You've come so far, don't throw it away
You are the best dinosaur ever (Otherwise known as "Live believing, dreams are for weaving")
Wonders are waiting to start
When we hold on together
We know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As clouds rolls by, for you and I.

A mommy's purse is a magical place...

My purse is a catch all for life. It makes me more equipped to face the world. Kid's got a runny nose? Here sonny, the corner of this tissue hasn't been used! Forgot to grab a mid-morning snack? How 'bout a mint-flavored toothpick to tide you over! Child is whining through church? Look, a book/truck/dinosaur! All from the magical purse. Having a well-stocked purse makes me a good mom...and a wife.

A wife's purse is not only a catch all for her things, but for her husband's as well. (Everyone knows a man cannot be caught carrying a satchel of their personal belongings.) This is how the conversation goes on the way into the mall:

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my keys in your purse?"

"Why don't you put them in your pocket?"

"Because they poke me in the leg"

.... five minutes later....

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my chapstick in your purse?"

"Why don't you put it in your pocket?"

"Cuz I'll forget it's there and it'll go through the washer."

And so it goes until all of his belongings are in your purse, that is, until you leave the mall and he wants them all back. I think my husband is secretly JEALOUS of my purse, as well he should be.

My purse is a mask that protects me from judgement. On the outside it's so pretty! Just zip it up and you look like you've got it together! It's an accessory! A fashion item! You can pretend that you barely use it other than to hold your lipstick! But if someone other than the purse's owner starts to dig through, you learn things...scary things. You start to realize that this pretty little purse is hiding things from you! It's no wonder we're afraid to let anyone rifle through them.

In order to cleanse myself of the fear, I've decided to post a picture of my purse...fully exposed. I know I'll be judged. I don't care. Because some day I'll win a lot of money on Let's Make a Deal.




Yes, that's a banana, Goldfish crackers, "Pat the Bunny" and shoe polish...I don't know why the shoe polish is there.

Repeat after me: "I Love Living in Michigan!"

It's the middle of February. It's the time of year when all life-long Michiganders look at each other with sympathy in their eyes as we walk to our cars in the Kroger parking lot and ask the eternal question: "Explain to me again...why do we live here?"

So to keep our "eyes on the prize" I've compiled a list of MY top five reasons why Michigan is a great place to live:

1. That whole "Just stick the beer out on the back porch" thing.

That is so cool. I don't have to push the yogurt to the back of the fridge to squeeze the beer in there. Or, when you accidentally leave your Applebees leftovers in your car overnight? No problem! Your car was 10 degrees cooler than your refrigerator anyway!

2. Skiing?

It must be great. Lots of people do it. They seem to enjoy themselves! You'll never catch me out on the slopes (the last time I went skiing I ran into a father and son while screaming "the snow plow DOES NOT WORK!") but someday my husband can take my son skiing and Mommy can sit in the lodge with her hot cocoa and a good book. That'll be great.

3. Water, water, everywhere, and you can drink it all!

Every Michigander has their favorite lake. You could say my husband and I are star-crossed lovers. He's a Lake Huron guy and I'm a Lake Michigan girl. I also spent every summer at my grandma's house on Crystal Lake in Frankfort. If you haven't been to Crystal...GO. Just ask one of those people with the M-22 bumper stickers how to get there. It's gorgeous, clear, shallow, and for the six weeks that it's warm enough to be in a swim suit, it's pure Heaven.


Bill and Liam walk on a sandbar in Lake Michigan and Liam and I relax on the beach in St. Joseph.

4. Proximity to great vacation destinations!

Bill and I both worked at Cedar Point before we got married, so for us, there's some nostalgia at the Rockin' Roller Coast. We love taking Liam, and it's a short car trip. If you're planning a trip and have never been to Cedar Point during the Halloweekends...it's a great time to go. (insider secret: go on the first Halloweekend in September to avoid the crowds.)

And, say what you will about Canada, but I love it. I know lots of Canadians and they're all awesome. The best theatre I have ever seen was at the Stratford Festival and those Canadians know how to make a waterfall exciting. It will also be that much easier to flee the country if Sarah Palin somehow makes it into the Whitehouse in 2012.


Liam is ready to head into Cedar Point and Bill and I have a picnic by the river in Stratford, ON.

5. The Seasons

I complain about the snow, yet I can't imagine not having a "White Christmas", and it sure beats the alternative of looking at brown grass for 5 months out of the year. I love the crunch of autumn leaves and sitting in a high school football stadium. I love the smell of spring and I always tear up when I see the first crocus. I love hot summer nights when you can leave your front door open and listen to the frogs or sit out on the patio with your friends and enjoy a glass of wine around a bonfire.

It's something about knowing that the seasons will end that makes them so much better. And trust me, this winter will end...thank God.

A Communications Major walks into a bar...

The bar is empty. When the woman goes up to the bar and asks the bartender why the bar is empty, the man behind the counter briefly looks up from his iPhone and says "Ma'am, everyone is at home, sending each other cocktails on facebook!"

Of course, we all know that blogs, texts, e-mails, and the like have created a huge impact on the way we "talk" to one another, but I didn't realize how far it had gone.

I was making mini cupcakes for my son's preschool class for Valentine's Day. I thought "I'll ice them and then put a cute little 'conversation heart' on top of each one!" I knew I'd have to sort through the bag of Sweethearts in order to weed out the ones that said "kiss me" or "marry me" (there were TONS of "Marry Me"s! Please, men, DO NOT propose with a Necco product!) but I was amazed at how many of them were not fit for pre-schoolers!

Then, I saw one that made me laugh and cry at the same time. Take a look at the photo below.

That's right folks! If you really want to impress your Valentine this year give them a conversation heart that says: TWEET ME!!!! Sigh. Has it really come to this? In order to have a romantic relationship with someone we encourage them to express their love and everlasting devotion on the Internet in 160 characters or less?! Pathetic.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a card for my hubby that says "I knew I loved you after the first time we IM-ed on AOL." At least there were no character limits back in the 90s. :)

These are the sorted hearts. The small container holds 18 hearts with sayings fit for pre-schoolers (sweet heart, angel, too cute, etc). The larger container holds the remainder that are too explicit for a 3 year old. :)

Oh crap...another "Ah-ha" moment!

Hi...my name is Emily...and I'm an Oprah-holic. Deep breath...I feel better having said it out loud.

Here's the problem I have...and mommies, let me know if you feel the same way after watching another gut-wrenching, Kleenex annihilating episode of Oprah.

Here's how the hour usually progresses. First, Oprah introduces the episode. It's either the light-hearted episode music where they're going to talk about Sarah Jessica Parker OR it's the "Duhn-duhn" intro where you hear the ominous music.

If it's the light-hearted music...fear not. Enjoy the hour. If you hear the dark and sinister "duhn-duhn" chords...get ready to feel like crap about yourself in 15 minutes.

Before the first commercial, I'm thinking to myself "Oprah's so SMART! She's seriously got it TOGETHER! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've never thought of it that way before!"

By the second commercial break I've started to unravel. I'm thinking to myself "Oh geez, that Suze Orman is making me feel a little guilty that I'm 27 and don't have $30,000 in my savings account."

Next comes the deep guilt: "OMG, I cannot believe that I'm putting non-organic food into my son's tiny little body! He has no choice! I'm basically forcing cancer onto him! I'm a terrible mom, I have to get it TOGETHER....like Oprah!"

Then you go into the "I can fix it" stage. "Well, next time I'm at the store I'll buy organic Peanut Butter. Then maybe I'll research some local CSA farmers. But, dang, Alicia Silverstone told me I should go Vegan. I'll look up some non-dairy dessert recipes. Then I can learn how to can tomatoes so we can eat them out of season!....etc etc"

After two days have passed I'm in an all out "failure tizzy" and Oprah has already added two more episodes of AH HA MOMENTS to my to do list! Now I have to research organic farming without spending any time on the computer because Oprah has proved that the internet is making us all so disconnected from our families! I want to scream: "No matter how hard I try, I CANNOT LIVE MY BEST LIFE! Get off my back Oprah!!!! I have diapers to change and lunches to pack and a dog to walk!"

I'm beginning to fear the Ah-ha moments. Poor Oprah. She's only trying to help.

GAH! Stop LECTURING ME!!!!!

Mash-Up

Anyone who watches Glee on a regular basis knows the power of a great "mash-up".

For those of you that don't watch Glee (all six of you) a mash-up is defined by Urban Dictionary as: taking elements of two or more pre-existing pieces of music and combining them to make a new song.

I would like to debut to the world the mash-up that Liam created over the holiday season. It is a mix of the ever-popular "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and one of our personal favorite lullabies, "Maybe" from the musical Annie.

Blogging Virgin!

OK, I'm excited! Well, excited and scared...the way most virgins feel, I guess. I'm ready to jump full-force into the world of BLOGGING!

I'm not sure who's going to read this (I have to admit that at first I thought blogging seemed self-important) but when my son started saying cute stuff, like, everyday, I thought I should find a way to record it all! Baby books are SO 1999.

So here it is. My first blog post. Nothing exciting to report today except that I hurt my back and my awesome mommy came over to administer bath and bedtime (for Liam, not me.)

Stay tuned though. I promise tantalizing tales in the future. I'm a wild and craaazy guy!

Love and Happiness, people of the world!