Happy World Theatre Day!

March 27^th is World Theatre Day and I would like to take this opportunity to write a public love letter to my all time favorite passion!

I don’t think it would be a big surprise to anyone that I was not an athlete in school. I dreaded gym class. I spent recess on the swing set. I played soccer for the obligatory two seasons, and quit when I got hit in the face with the ball. I felt like I wasn’t good at the stuff you were “supposed” to be good at, especially if you wanted to be one of the popular kids.

Then I stumbled (literally, I told you I’m not coordinated) into the world of music and theatre. My entire life changed. I started to become good at something for the first time in my life. No, theatre didn’t make me popular (shocking, I know) but it made me try hard, it made me confident, and it taught me how to treat other people.

Now, fifteen years later, I am still in love. I get giddy when I walk into a theater to see a show, first rehearsals still feel like first dates, and let me tell you there is NOTHING in this whole world like feeling an audience in the palm of your hand. Knowing that all of the hard work has made a difference to your audience. Actors live for those moments.

And the people! Ya know, I've been told that there's no people like show people, and I'd have to agree. I met my husband as well as many of my best friends doing theatre (6 of the 8 people who stood up in our wedding were "show people"). You become so committed to a common goal that you become family. They are the kindest, most open-minded, funniest, and most entertaining people you will ever meet.

If you've never experienced theatre from behind the scenes, put it on your bucket list. Especially, if you live in Midland, where we have one of the greatest community theatre facilities I've ever seen. You will have the time of your life, guaranteed!

My son, the drama queen

I’m not surprised. I’m glad, actually, that my son is turning into a very social little boy. I’m also not surprised that along with his social skills, Liam has a flair for the...dramatic.

He can’t help it with parents who act out scenes from Mary Poppins or play YouTube videos of My Little Ponies singing “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” to try to make him laugh. He’s been onstage three times now…once in the womb (I was playing a virgin...oh the magic of theatre and a good costume designer!) My point? It’s in his blood.

I was surprised, however, with how quickly it all took effect. This morning my son didn’t want to get dressed. Specifically, he didn’t want to put on pants. We explained to him that pants were a necessary part of leaving the house...no dice. We tried everything…distraction, bribery, you name it. It escalated into a full on tantrum…”I WAN’T TO GO TO NANA’S!” he screamed. He was certain that Nana wouldn’t possibly do this to him.

Then...as he was crying (my husband and I were laughing) that little over dramatic child was watching himself cry in the mirror...experimenting with different facial expressions and pitches of crying. Sigh. And so it begins.

Maybe someday, when he’s accepting his Oscar, he will thank his parents for making him wear pants.

We have no idea where he gets it from.

The Land Before Time...

Every night before bed, we sing a song to Liam (or several songs. It's actually my favorite part of the day). When I can't remember the words I usually just make some up. Liam caught on to some of the made up lyrics, and now he won't let me sing it any other way. This is Liam singing the Land Before Time theme song to me including some of the words that I made up one night..."You are the best dinosaur ever" He's a little sleepy and hard to understand, so I'll post the lyrics below.



Don't lose your way with each passing day
You've come so far, don't throw it away
You are the best dinosaur ever (Otherwise known as "Live believing, dreams are for weaving")
Wonders are waiting to start
When we hold on together
We know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As clouds rolls by, for you and I.

A mommy's purse is a magical place...

My purse is a catch all for life. It makes me more equipped to face the world. Kid's got a runny nose? Here sonny, the corner of this tissue hasn't been used! Forgot to grab a mid-morning snack? How 'bout a mint-flavored toothpick to tide you over! Child is whining through church? Look, a book/truck/dinosaur! All from the magical purse. Having a well-stocked purse makes me a good mom...and a wife.

A wife's purse is not only a catch all for her things, but for her husband's as well. (Everyone knows a man cannot be caught carrying a satchel of their personal belongings.) This is how the conversation goes on the way into the mall:

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my keys in your purse?"

"Why don't you put them in your pocket?"

"Because they poke me in the leg"

.... five minutes later....

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my chapstick in your purse?"

"Why don't you put it in your pocket?"

"Cuz I'll forget it's there and it'll go through the washer."

And so it goes until all of his belongings are in your purse, that is, until you leave the mall and he wants them all back. I think my husband is secretly JEALOUS of my purse, as well he should be.

My purse is a mask that protects me from judgement. On the outside it's so pretty! Just zip it up and you look like you've got it together! It's an accessory! A fashion item! You can pretend that you barely use it other than to hold your lipstick! But if someone other than the purse's owner starts to dig through, you learn things...scary things. You start to realize that this pretty little purse is hiding things from you! It's no wonder we're afraid to let anyone rifle through them.

In order to cleanse myself of the fear, I've decided to post a picture of my purse...fully exposed. I know I'll be judged. I don't care. Because some day I'll win a lot of money on Let's Make a Deal.




Yes, that's a banana, Goldfish crackers, "Pat the Bunny" and shoe polish...I don't know why the shoe polish is there.

Repeat after me: "I Love Living in Michigan!"

It's the middle of February. It's the time of year when all life-long Michiganders look at each other with sympathy in their eyes as we walk to our cars in the Kroger parking lot and ask the eternal question: "Explain to me again...why do we live here?"

So to keep our "eyes on the prize" I've compiled a list of MY top five reasons why Michigan is a great place to live:

1. That whole "Just stick the beer out on the back porch" thing.

That is so cool. I don't have to push the yogurt to the back of the fridge to squeeze the beer in there. Or, when you accidentally leave your Applebees leftovers in your car overnight? No problem! Your car was 10 degrees cooler than your refrigerator anyway!

2. Skiing?

It must be great. Lots of people do it. They seem to enjoy themselves! You'll never catch me out on the slopes (the last time I went skiing I ran into a father and son while screaming "the snow plow DOES NOT WORK!") but someday my husband can take my son skiing and Mommy can sit in the lodge with her hot cocoa and a good book. That'll be great.

3. Water, water, everywhere, and you can drink it all!

Every Michigander has their favorite lake. You could say my husband and I are star-crossed lovers. He's a Lake Huron guy and I'm a Lake Michigan girl. I also spent every summer at my grandma's house on Crystal Lake in Frankfort. If you haven't been to Crystal...GO. Just ask one of those people with the M-22 bumper stickers how to get there. It's gorgeous, clear, shallow, and for the six weeks that it's warm enough to be in a swim suit, it's pure Heaven.


Bill and Liam walk on a sandbar in Lake Michigan and Liam and I relax on the beach in St. Joseph.

4. Proximity to great vacation destinations!

Bill and I both worked at Cedar Point before we got married, so for us, there's some nostalgia at the Rockin' Roller Coast. We love taking Liam, and it's a short car trip. If you're planning a trip and have never been to Cedar Point during the Halloweekends...it's a great time to go. (insider secret: go on the first Halloweekend in September to avoid the crowds.)

And, say what you will about Canada, but I love it. I know lots of Canadians and they're all awesome. The best theatre I have ever seen was at the Stratford Festival and those Canadians know how to make a waterfall exciting. It will also be that much easier to flee the country if Sarah Palin somehow makes it into the Whitehouse in 2012.


Liam is ready to head into Cedar Point and Bill and I have a picnic by the river in Stratford, ON.

5. The Seasons

I complain about the snow, yet I can't imagine not having a "White Christmas", and it sure beats the alternative of looking at brown grass for 5 months out of the year. I love the crunch of autumn leaves and sitting in a high school football stadium. I love the smell of spring and I always tear up when I see the first crocus. I love hot summer nights when you can leave your front door open and listen to the frogs or sit out on the patio with your friends and enjoy a glass of wine around a bonfire.

It's something about knowing that the seasons will end that makes them so much better. And trust me, this winter will end...thank God.

A Communications Major walks into a bar...

The bar is empty. When the woman goes up to the bar and asks the bartender why the bar is empty, the man behind the counter briefly looks up from his iPhone and says "Ma'am, everyone is at home, sending each other cocktails on facebook!"

Of course, we all know that blogs, texts, e-mails, and the like have created a huge impact on the way we "talk" to one another, but I didn't realize how far it had gone.

I was making mini cupcakes for my son's preschool class for Valentine's Day. I thought "I'll ice them and then put a cute little 'conversation heart' on top of each one!" I knew I'd have to sort through the bag of Sweethearts in order to weed out the ones that said "kiss me" or "marry me" (there were TONS of "Marry Me"s! Please, men, DO NOT propose with a Necco product!) but I was amazed at how many of them were not fit for pre-schoolers!

Then, I saw one that made me laugh and cry at the same time. Take a look at the photo below.

That's right folks! If you really want to impress your Valentine this year give them a conversation heart that says: TWEET ME!!!! Sigh. Has it really come to this? In order to have a romantic relationship with someone we encourage them to express their love and everlasting devotion on the Internet in 160 characters or less?! Pathetic.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a card for my hubby that says "I knew I loved you after the first time we IM-ed on AOL." At least there were no character limits back in the 90s. :)

These are the sorted hearts. The small container holds 18 hearts with sayings fit for pre-schoolers (sweet heart, angel, too cute, etc). The larger container holds the remainder that are too explicit for a 3 year old. :)

Oh crap...another "Ah-ha" moment!

Hi...my name is Emily...and I'm an Oprah-holic. Deep breath...I feel better having said it out loud.

Here's the problem I have...and mommies, let me know if you feel the same way after watching another gut-wrenching, Kleenex annihilating episode of Oprah.

Here's how the hour usually progresses. First, Oprah introduces the episode. It's either the light-hearted episode music where they're going to talk about Sarah Jessica Parker OR it's the "Duhn-duhn" intro where you hear the ominous music.

If it's the light-hearted music...fear not. Enjoy the hour. If you hear the dark and sinister "duhn-duhn" chords...get ready to feel like crap about yourself in 15 minutes.

Before the first commercial, I'm thinking to myself "Oprah's so SMART! She's seriously got it TOGETHER! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've never thought of it that way before!"

By the second commercial break I've started to unravel. I'm thinking to myself "Oh geez, that Suze Orman is making me feel a little guilty that I'm 27 and don't have $30,000 in my savings account."

Next comes the deep guilt: "OMG, I cannot believe that I'm putting non-organic food into my son's tiny little body! He has no choice! I'm basically forcing cancer onto him! I'm a terrible mom, I have to get it TOGETHER....like Oprah!"

Then you go into the "I can fix it" stage. "Well, next time I'm at the store I'll buy organic Peanut Butter. Then maybe I'll research some local CSA farmers. But, dang, Alicia Silverstone told me I should go Vegan. I'll look up some non-dairy dessert recipes. Then I can learn how to can tomatoes so we can eat them out of season!....etc etc"

After two days have passed I'm in an all out "failure tizzy" and Oprah has already added two more episodes of AH HA MOMENTS to my to do list! Now I have to research organic farming without spending any time on the computer because Oprah has proved that the internet is making us all so disconnected from our families! I want to scream: "No matter how hard I try, I CANNOT LIVE MY BEST LIFE! Get off my back Oprah!!!! I have diapers to change and lunches to pack and a dog to walk!"

I'm beginning to fear the Ah-ha moments. Poor Oprah. She's only trying to help.

GAH! Stop LECTURING ME!!!!!