My son (whom I love more than anything in the world) was a surprise blessing. Specifically, my husband and I had a “five year” kids plan that was shortened when we got pregnant five weeks after we got married.
Adjusting to the idea of having a child so soon was difficult for me. Yes, we “knew how this sort of thing happens” and we immediately took on the responsibility of our new lifestyle, but there were tearful nights (undoubtedly egged on by raging hormones) where I questioned whether or not I was “ready” to be a mom. I didn’t know if I was ready to lose control of my life and what I wanted to do.
Now that we have our three-year old bundle of energy, I know that I am a good mom. We’re also blessed with an amazing “supporting cast” including grandparents that invite us to dinner and have sleepovers and friends who are insulted when you try to pay them for babysitting.
Finally, it’s fun instead of stressful. My house is (usually) picked up, my closets are not overflowing, we have enough left over money in the checking account to go out to eat every now and then and go on vacation, and I get a solid 8 hours of sleep most nights. My husband, son and I love our lives.
Maybe we’ll only have one child. Why mess with a good thing?
“WHAT!?” Tends to be the general response. (It turns out that people you barely know get incredibly frustrated and angry when they find out that you might only have one child.) “That’s awfully SELFISH!” they say.
Or they’ll say “You want to raise a little BRAT?”
Perhaps my favorite response is “What happens if you die?!” they ask, “Your son will be so LONELY!!!” Yeah, thanks a lot. Nothing makes a mom happier than thinking of what will become of her children if she were to have an untimely death. Perhaps if there were a SIBLING involved. Yes! That’s it! Then my son wouldn’t be sad about me dying. He and his brother/sister could just take over the house and create their own little Lord of the Flies.
When I see the term “only child”, a lot of emotions run through my mind: relief, guilt, happiness, regret, sadness, and the inevitable “more guilt” are only a few. Images pop into my head of a little boy sitting on the swing set all by himself with tears rolling down his cute little cheeks. But I also see a little boy who is able to take piano lessons and go to college without mountains of debt to burden him. I see a little boy who comes home to a mommy who isn’t exhausted, a mommy who doesn’t have to divide her attention, a mommy who isn’t stressed about finances.
There are so many wonderful people who are wonderful parents to more than one child. I just don’t know if we're those people. We haven’t decided yet. Maybe we'll start a new trend: Green parenting?
5 comments:
Happy little boys who are only children, take piano lessons, and go to college grow up to be happy (and grateful) big boys, too.
Sista...you, me and seven hours at Starbucks could not solve this dilemma. We would, however, be appropriately caffeinated...so technically, I'd file it as a win.
The VWs are currently weighing the same option...and I get the same side eyes from the uno child non-believers. THEY can take a long walk off a short bridge. WE can continue to be awesome.
Preach.
I think no matter what you choose your kid(s) will know you and Billy love them Emily! You'll be great parents no matter what you decide :D
As an adult only child, the one thing I long for more than anything is a sibling to share my life with. Any and all children you have will be blessed to have you guys are parents, I know that's true :)
It's pretty shocking how many strangers feel that your reproduction is their business! A friend of mine and her husband have decided not to have children, and it's really surprising how many people find that "selfish." As soon as Rodney and I were married, babies were all anyone could talk about... :)
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