A mommy's purse is a magical place...

My purse is a catch all for life. It makes me more equipped to face the world. Kid's got a runny nose? Here sonny, the corner of this tissue hasn't been used! Forgot to grab a mid-morning snack? How 'bout a mint-flavored toothpick to tide you over! Child is whining through church? Look, a book/truck/dinosaur! All from the magical purse. Having a well-stocked purse makes me a good mom...and a wife.

A wife's purse is not only a catch all for her things, but for her husband's as well. (Everyone knows a man cannot be caught carrying a satchel of their personal belongings.) This is how the conversation goes on the way into the mall:

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my keys in your purse?"

"Why don't you put them in your pocket?"

"Because they poke me in the leg"

.... five minutes later....

"Hey honey, would you mind putting my chapstick in your purse?"

"Why don't you put it in your pocket?"

"Cuz I'll forget it's there and it'll go through the washer."

And so it goes until all of his belongings are in your purse, that is, until you leave the mall and he wants them all back. I think my husband is secretly JEALOUS of my purse, as well he should be.

My purse is a mask that protects me from judgement. On the outside it's so pretty! Just zip it up and you look like you've got it together! It's an accessory! A fashion item! You can pretend that you barely use it other than to hold your lipstick! But if someone other than the purse's owner starts to dig through, you learn things...scary things. You start to realize that this pretty little purse is hiding things from you! It's no wonder we're afraid to let anyone rifle through them.

In order to cleanse myself of the fear, I've decided to post a picture of my purse...fully exposed. I know I'll be judged. I don't care. Because some day I'll win a lot of money on Let's Make a Deal.




Yes, that's a banana, Goldfish crackers, "Pat the Bunny" and shoe polish...I don't know why the shoe polish is there.

Repeat after me: "I Love Living in Michigan!"

It's the middle of February. It's the time of year when all life-long Michiganders look at each other with sympathy in their eyes as we walk to our cars in the Kroger parking lot and ask the eternal question: "Explain to me again...why do we live here?"

So to keep our "eyes on the prize" I've compiled a list of MY top five reasons why Michigan is a great place to live:

1. That whole "Just stick the beer out on the back porch" thing.

That is so cool. I don't have to push the yogurt to the back of the fridge to squeeze the beer in there. Or, when you accidentally leave your Applebees leftovers in your car overnight? No problem! Your car was 10 degrees cooler than your refrigerator anyway!

2. Skiing?

It must be great. Lots of people do it. They seem to enjoy themselves! You'll never catch me out on the slopes (the last time I went skiing I ran into a father and son while screaming "the snow plow DOES NOT WORK!") but someday my husband can take my son skiing and Mommy can sit in the lodge with her hot cocoa and a good book. That'll be great.

3. Water, water, everywhere, and you can drink it all!

Every Michigander has their favorite lake. You could say my husband and I are star-crossed lovers. He's a Lake Huron guy and I'm a Lake Michigan girl. I also spent every summer at my grandma's house on Crystal Lake in Frankfort. If you haven't been to Crystal...GO. Just ask one of those people with the M-22 bumper stickers how to get there. It's gorgeous, clear, shallow, and for the six weeks that it's warm enough to be in a swim suit, it's pure Heaven.


Bill and Liam walk on a sandbar in Lake Michigan and Liam and I relax on the beach in St. Joseph.

4. Proximity to great vacation destinations!

Bill and I both worked at Cedar Point before we got married, so for us, there's some nostalgia at the Rockin' Roller Coast. We love taking Liam, and it's a short car trip. If you're planning a trip and have never been to Cedar Point during the Halloweekends...it's a great time to go. (insider secret: go on the first Halloweekend in September to avoid the crowds.)

And, say what you will about Canada, but I love it. I know lots of Canadians and they're all awesome. The best theatre I have ever seen was at the Stratford Festival and those Canadians know how to make a waterfall exciting. It will also be that much easier to flee the country if Sarah Palin somehow makes it into the Whitehouse in 2012.


Liam is ready to head into Cedar Point and Bill and I have a picnic by the river in Stratford, ON.

5. The Seasons

I complain about the snow, yet I can't imagine not having a "White Christmas", and it sure beats the alternative of looking at brown grass for 5 months out of the year. I love the crunch of autumn leaves and sitting in a high school football stadium. I love the smell of spring and I always tear up when I see the first crocus. I love hot summer nights when you can leave your front door open and listen to the frogs or sit out on the patio with your friends and enjoy a glass of wine around a bonfire.

It's something about knowing that the seasons will end that makes them so much better. And trust me, this winter will end...thank God.

A Communications Major walks into a bar...

The bar is empty. When the woman goes up to the bar and asks the bartender why the bar is empty, the man behind the counter briefly looks up from his iPhone and says "Ma'am, everyone is at home, sending each other cocktails on facebook!"

Of course, we all know that blogs, texts, e-mails, and the like have created a huge impact on the way we "talk" to one another, but I didn't realize how far it had gone.

I was making mini cupcakes for my son's preschool class for Valentine's Day. I thought "I'll ice them and then put a cute little 'conversation heart' on top of each one!" I knew I'd have to sort through the bag of Sweethearts in order to weed out the ones that said "kiss me" or "marry me" (there were TONS of "Marry Me"s! Please, men, DO NOT propose with a Necco product!) but I was amazed at how many of them were not fit for pre-schoolers!

Then, I saw one that made me laugh and cry at the same time. Take a look at the photo below.

That's right folks! If you really want to impress your Valentine this year give them a conversation heart that says: TWEET ME!!!! Sigh. Has it really come to this? In order to have a romantic relationship with someone we encourage them to express their love and everlasting devotion on the Internet in 160 characters or less?! Pathetic.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a card for my hubby that says "I knew I loved you after the first time we IM-ed on AOL." At least there were no character limits back in the 90s. :)

These are the sorted hearts. The small container holds 18 hearts with sayings fit for pre-schoolers (sweet heart, angel, too cute, etc). The larger container holds the remainder that are too explicit for a 3 year old. :)

Oh crap...another "Ah-ha" moment!

Hi...my name is Emily...and I'm an Oprah-holic. Deep breath...I feel better having said it out loud.

Here's the problem I have...and mommies, let me know if you feel the same way after watching another gut-wrenching, Kleenex annihilating episode of Oprah.

Here's how the hour usually progresses. First, Oprah introduces the episode. It's either the light-hearted episode music where they're going to talk about Sarah Jessica Parker OR it's the "Duhn-duhn" intro where you hear the ominous music.

If it's the light-hearted music...fear not. Enjoy the hour. If you hear the dark and sinister "duhn-duhn" chords...get ready to feel like crap about yourself in 15 minutes.

Before the first commercial, I'm thinking to myself "Oprah's so SMART! She's seriously got it TOGETHER! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've never thought of it that way before!"

By the second commercial break I've started to unravel. I'm thinking to myself "Oh geez, that Suze Orman is making me feel a little guilty that I'm 27 and don't have $30,000 in my savings account."

Next comes the deep guilt: "OMG, I cannot believe that I'm putting non-organic food into my son's tiny little body! He has no choice! I'm basically forcing cancer onto him! I'm a terrible mom, I have to get it TOGETHER....like Oprah!"

Then you go into the "I can fix it" stage. "Well, next time I'm at the store I'll buy organic Peanut Butter. Then maybe I'll research some local CSA farmers. But, dang, Alicia Silverstone told me I should go Vegan. I'll look up some non-dairy dessert recipes. Then I can learn how to can tomatoes so we can eat them out of season!....etc etc"

After two days have passed I'm in an all out "failure tizzy" and Oprah has already added two more episodes of AH HA MOMENTS to my to do list! Now I have to research organic farming without spending any time on the computer because Oprah has proved that the internet is making us all so disconnected from our families! I want to scream: "No matter how hard I try, I CANNOT LIVE MY BEST LIFE! Get off my back Oprah!!!! I have diapers to change and lunches to pack and a dog to walk!"

I'm beginning to fear the Ah-ha moments. Poor Oprah. She's only trying to help.

GAH! Stop LECTURING ME!!!!!

Mash-Up

Anyone who watches Glee on a regular basis knows the power of a great "mash-up".

For those of you that don't watch Glee (all six of you) a mash-up is defined by Urban Dictionary as: taking elements of two or more pre-existing pieces of music and combining them to make a new song.

I would like to debut to the world the mash-up that Liam created over the holiday season. It is a mix of the ever-popular "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and one of our personal favorite lullabies, "Maybe" from the musical Annie.

Blogging Virgin!

OK, I'm excited! Well, excited and scared...the way most virgins feel, I guess. I'm ready to jump full-force into the world of BLOGGING!

I'm not sure who's going to read this (I have to admit that at first I thought blogging seemed self-important) but when my son started saying cute stuff, like, everyday, I thought I should find a way to record it all! Baby books are SO 1999.

So here it is. My first blog post. Nothing exciting to report today except that I hurt my back and my awesome mommy came over to administer bath and bedtime (for Liam, not me.)

Stay tuned though. I promise tantalizing tales in the future. I'm a wild and craaazy guy!

Love and Happiness, people of the world!